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NSFW Reviews Part 2 – Xenoblade Chronicles 2

January 31, 2019
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This is the second in the ongoing series of Not Safe For Wives (NSFW) reviews. If scantily clad overly slim female sidekicks with comically large pendulous breasts are your thing, this game will certainly cover you. But more on that later.

For those not familiar with the earlier entries in the Xenoblade series – first, what have you been doing with your life up until now, and second – no really, what have you been doing with your life – this is the third entry in the series of widely acclaimed open world JRPGs produced by Monolith Soft. Based upon my experience, this title has improved markedly on its predecessors limited flaws. If you enjoyed Xenoblade Chronicles or its follow up Xenoblade Chronicles X, you are guaranteed to enjoy this 100 hour plus glorious adventure.

First Impressions

The first thing you will notice once the open world aspect of the game is revealed, and which you will continue to notice throughout the game, is the dedication and attention to detail that the team at Monolith put into the game’s worlds. The vistas are simply breathtaking, the artwork stunning and beautiful. Each of the individual regions are unique, vivid, deeply colored and gorgeous. The combat system is improved from earlier iterations.

Story

The game opens inauspiciously with a scene reminiscent of Wind Waker, during which you are introduced to the chief character, Rex, and his anthropomorphic transport/companion, Gramps. Following this brief introduction, you are acquainted with the basics of combat and are sent on your first mission during which you are introduced to the lead heroine who also doubles as your special weapon. While there is a relationship between you and your “special weapon” those details, and the remainder of the world, are best revealed through playing the game and getting acquainted with its lore.

Once the game is truly underway and the handholding tutorials are over, the story is reveals to be one of the all too familiar tropes of a dying world, its inhabitants in search of a fabled “promised land” while simultaneously combating the forces of evil, hell bent on destroying a world which already appears destined for annihilation in any event. However, the dying world trope aside, the storyline is compelling and plucks at your heart strings the deeper you get into it.

Gameplay

Navigating the worlds for the first time is somewhat of a slog, requiring the physical traversal of the expansive maps. The beauty of the worlds, if you actually take the time to breathe them in, renders the slog bearable, notwithstanding the transit time. Fortunately, once opened, the maps are populated with fast travel points making travel between and in worlds considerably quicker.

The combat system, while not without its flaws, is rewarding for the skilled player who invests time into learning the intricacies of combat including the various combos, thereby reducing combat time considerably and increasing the rewards offered by successfully completing the melees. While one trenchant criticism of the combat system is that battles can be won without even pressing buttons, in a way, this could be considered the games version of auto-battle, allowing you take a quick break while waiting for the combat to finish. However, this type of non-participatory combat only applies to the lower level creatures you will fight. Using this tactic later in the game will see you being made short work of. Combat of course, can be easily avoided for the most part by attempting to outrun your enemies. The annoying one hit deaths from the earlier titles, thankfully are all but gone.

Graphics

The art direction, graphical fidelity and draw distance of the game are astounding. This is one of the prettiest titles to ever grace a Nintendo console and makes earlier series efforts look prehistoric in comparison. That said, the game suffers from the occasional pop-up and some slowness in rendering, which is a little jarring considering how good the rest of the game looks.

Not Safe For Wives

This is a game that most women are going to have some gripes about, and probably legitimately so. The female characters are either childlike or overly buxom and sexualized within an inch of their digital lives. The breast sizes are often so large as to make you wonder whether the female residents of Alrest are silicone rather than carbon based life forms. One particular character – which isn’t part of the direct story line, and requires some luck to acquire – is so particularly enhanced that it is impossible not to wonder how she can walk upright. She’s Alrest’s humanoid equivalent of the bumblebee, which according to principles of physics shouldn’t be able to fly, but can.

In addition to the overly bountiful array of mammaries and exposed flesh, there is some dialog regarding the best way for a particular female character to form a better attachment with a male character. Without going into too much detail, this character interaction is the kind that would cause Anita Sarkeesian to burst several veins on her forehead.

Overall

This is a game, which if you like, you’ll lose hundreds of hours on, particularly you are a completionist. Graphically it is astounding, the voice acting, drawing upon a number of British dialects, is top notch. Putting to one side the one particular conversation alluded to above, the game dialog is rich and witty.

If you haven’t bought this game yet, you really need to. Do be prepared, however, to spend a lot of time unopening all of this world’s secrets.

I give it a strong 9.9 out of ten. Amazing.

Are you planning on buying this game? Let us know in the comments.

Full-time lawyer and dad, part-time gamer when the former allow.

Gameplay
10
Music and Sound
10
Graphics
10
Controls
9.5

Total Rating

9.9
Tags:
John Smith

Full-time lawyer and dad, part-time gamer when the former allow.

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